Independent Films, Film Profiles

Water, Water Every Hare
by Chuck_Jones

Water, Water Every Hare is a 1950-produced Looney Tunes cartoon released in 1952 featuring Bugs Bunny and Gossamer. The title is a reference to the line "Water, water, everywhere / Nor any drop to drink" from Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.Much like in Hair-Raising Hare, Bugs finds himself trapped in the castle of an "evil scientist", who this time is a caricature of Vincent Price and needs the rabbit's brain to complete an experiment. When Bugs makes a run for it (after encountering the scientist, a sarcophagus and the robot experiment), a big orange monster wearing a pair of sneakers (Gossamer, here called "Rudolph") is sent out to retrieve him. Bugs keeps running while he is frightened until (in a scene very similar to one in Hair-Raising Hare) a door on the floor opens and a rock falls down there and there are crocodiles swimming around. While he is walking backwards and praying to jump over the crocodiles, he bumps into Rudolph. Bugs comes up with an idea ("Uh oh. Think fast, rabbit!") and makes as a gabby hairdresser, giving the hairy monster a new hairdo. He gets some dynamite sticks and places them in his hair. He runs off just before the explosion. Rudolph gets furious and goes after Bugs. In the chemical room, Bugs sees vanishing fluid and he pours it all over himself. Bugs gets a trash can and dumps it on Rudolph. Then he gets a mallet and hits the trash can causing it to shake, and pulls out the rug Rudolph is standing on from underneath his feet, causing him to fall on his bottom. For the coup de gras, Bugs takes a bottle of reducing oil and pours the entire contents over Rudolph, who lets out a roar and shrinks. Putting on his suit coat and hat and grabbing two suitcases, he enters a mouse hole, kicks its resident out and slams the door which bears a sign saying "I QUIT!" The mouse says "I quit too!", holding up a bottle of whiskey. Bugs eats a carrot in satisfaction of getting rid of the monster. Suddenly, the mad scientist restores him with "hare restorer" and throws an axe straight towards Bugs (who doesn't want the scientist to have his brain, stating ("Uh, sorry doc, but I need what little I've got"), who ducks. The axe breaks open a large bottle of ether which drugs Bugs and the scientist. The groggy scientist chases after an equally groggy Bugs in slow motion. Bugs trips the scientist, who falls asleep. Bugs runs slowly out of the castle and over the horizon, tripping over a rock and falling asleep, landing in a stream which leads Bugs straight back into his flooded hole. He suddenly wakes up and declares that it must have been a nightmare. The miniature Rudolph passes by on a rowboat and tells him in a high-pitched voice, "Oh yeah? That's what you think", leaving Bugs with a confused look on his face.