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 Women need to understand that they have options and one of those often forgotten options is the ability say, no. In the modern world, after all sorts of feminine activism, women strive for perfection, which often leads to their own demise.

 An article in Newsweek and The Daily Beast, pointed out some very successful women including the Debora Spar, who is president of Barnard College and offers a short description for why women need to take more control of their lives by saying no.


Women these days are influenced by a significant amount of pressure from the media, from society, from biology, and mostly from their very unrealistic expectations of being a "wonder woman".

 The reason being is fairly simple; they are competing with the expectations received from men, other women and themselves, striving for perfection to be classified as successful by society. But in the end, the overwhelming pressure will only inhibit our success.


But the thing that women need to acknowledge and address is that we can't be perfect, and neither are men. It is not humanly possible to perfectly execute a 70-hour workweek while being an exemplary mother, wife, and family member. The worst part of it all is that most women place this pressure upon themselves.

 Women fear being perceived as weak or unable to accomplish anything thrown in their direction. But at the same time they struggle, as they fear asking for help, craving to be the epitome of perfection.


So, where do we go from here? We all need to accept the fact that we cannot be perfect at everything and women especially need to learn how to say no. We also have to accept that men’s roles have also drastically changed and we are practically in the same boat.

 Yes biology does take a toll on the female body but we cannot ignore it as if it isn't true. Child rearing takes a tremendous physical toll on women, which is why they should not be ashamed for themselves in asking for help.


Don't be afraid to say no when you feel in your gut that overwhelming pressure. If you are constantly stressed out, and feel as you are slipping from the controls on your own life, then take a step back and don't be afraid to take something off your list.

 As Debora Spar stated we need to "begin to dismantle the myth of solitaire perfection", because it doesn't exist and only subdues our dreams.

 After all, we are not wonder woman, so let's stop trying to be perfect and focus on happiness and achieving our goals.

About the author


Brooklyn-based Margaret Skowronska is a St. Francis College Communications and Business graduate with an intense curiosity that fuels her drive. She strongly follows the inspirational words of Norman V. Peale, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

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